The woods are
dark
but light
all the creatures run from you
as you walk
on the trail
you see
a deer
it jumps over a log
and bolts off into the darkness
you enter a glade and see a sparrow
it flies away
you come to the end of the path and look
at all the roads
and cars
and houses
and lawns
and all the bikes going by
you think what a beauty it is inside the woods
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Matteo, I really how this makes me feel like I'm walking through the dark woods. Can you change it to first person (use "I" instead of "you")?
ReplyDeletehey Matteo,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Maggie about it actually feels like your in the woods. It made the poem very interesting, and it reminds me of the book I"m reading, Magyk. The first part of the poem-actually most of it-seems kind of dark, like it is night time, but at the end with the part about the bikers, it makes it seem like day time. I like it though because it changes your point of view on it a little.
Kudos,
Jack